


1864

by Secretcitrus



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 07:29:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20560541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretcitrus/pseuds/Secretcitrus
Summary: AU/ After Damon dies in the explosion at the grill, Elena get's Luke to send her back in time to the explosion. Only thing's don't go as plan and she ends up in 1864 instead. Deciding to go with the unexpected change, she meets Damon again, but this time, does she stand a chance against Katherine? Or will his soul remember hers and he will fall all over again?





	1. Chapter 1

Present Day

"Okay Elena, I'm going to repeat everything I've said just now back to you to make sure you know exactly what you are getting yourself into," Luke says sighing deeply. He knows this is a bad idea, but aren't all of my ideas kind of spotty? Yet, that doesn't stop him from helping me anyways.

"Okay, one more time," I asked nervously. I hoped it would work. Because living without Damon just isn't an option.

"Liv and I are going to send you back in time. You're going to snap Damon's neck, drag him into the Salvatore cellar, and drive the car into the grill. Everything is the same except the fact that Damon is there. Then once you are on the other side, you'll come back. Damon will be on this side. You have twenty-four hours to accomplish this, if you don't whatever reality you've deviated from will continue to exist. You will be stuck there and it cannot be undone. As I have never actually done this before, I have no idea if it will work or not. Are you sure you want to go through with this Elena?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I can't think of another way to get him back," I say with a tear trailing down my cheek. My eyes are raw from all the crying she has done in the past week.

"Okay, now this part is going to be the hardest, for you to travel in time, I need you to think of Damon. Something he said could trigger what exact time you go to, so whatever memory pops up first will be your best shot because it will be the most accurate version of him."

"Okay, I'm ready," I say breathing out a heavy sigh. I can't help but think of Damon almost dying from Tyler's werewolf bite. That was the only other time Damon was half dead. Now he was whole dead. His flushed face resurfaces behind my closed eyelids while Liv and Luke chant.

"You should have met me in 1864, you would have liked me," he'd said. I told him I did like him, but as his voice continued to falter and fade as death pulled him in, I knew I didn't just like Damon, I loved him. But when he really died, I was madly in love with him. And I am not ready to say goodbye to that. To our love story. The love that consumes me.


	2. Chapter 2

1864

When I opened my eyes the smell of fresh baked bread floods my nose. Nature sounds eclipse my ears. When I look around however, the scenery is different. The roads aren't paved but they are gravel. I hear the rattling of a carriage and the clopping of a horse as it makes its way down the road. I quickly duck behind a bush and a thorn pricks me. I yanked it out and stare as the carriage pulls over. The thorn prick doesn't heal, which is odd considering I'm a vampire. Or am I? Where did I travel to? Obviously before I was turned but exactly when? As if to answer my question, Stefan Salvatore leaps out of the carriage. He's wearing a Victorian style white button down, weird pants and riding boots with a weird tie and vest.

The memory! I finally realize! I thought I was focusing on Damon and dying, instead it focused on 1864, he told me I should have met him in 1864 and to my detriment here I am.

"Katherine?" Stefan is looking at me. "What are you doing there? Come out where I can see you. I thought you and Mrs. Pearl had some business to attend to?"

Stefan starts crossing towards me. I'm wearing a blue floral dress that stops at my mid thighs and some black boots. I'm panicking and I don't know what to do.

"I'm not Katherine, I'm Elena, a relative of Katherine. She is my cousin."

"Well, what are you doing in your underthings? Are you looking for her? Do you need somewhere to stay? I know her house burned down in Atlanta and she has been staying with us, she said none of her family survived the fires so she will be so happy to find out that you are alive."

"Yes, I've been walking. I've just about ran out of money and basic things. I've been robbed multiple times during my travels. So if you wouldn't mind…"

"No. Of course, please," he gestures out a gloved hand to me and I get in the carriage with him. We ride to the Salvatore home in silence. My legs are crossed nervously and I'm anxious about how me and Katherine's big reunion will go when she has no idea I exist yet. Stefan shows me to Katherine's room and Emily Bennett offers her assistance to helping me get dressed. I can't help but stare at her, because she looks just like Bonnie. The giant dress uncomfortably sways when I walk but yet somehow I manage. As I begin walking down the hallway, I can't help but notice Damon's door is cracked open. I sneak a peek inside but he is not there to my dismay. I know at this time he doesn't know me but all I want is to hear his voice, see his icy blue eyes look back into mine. That's all I need, assurance that he is okay.


	3. Chapter 3

A stranger's arms are wrapping themselves around my waist and I'm being pulled against someone. Then he whispers in my ear, "Looking for me Katherine?"

"Damon," I sighed deeply against him. Tears threaten to escape my eyes.

He kisses my cheek but before he can tug me into his room, I extricate myself from him. I can't lie to him. When I turn to face him, I'm stunned. His hair is curly from the humidity. His eyes are glazing over me and his lips are pursed into a thin worrying line.

"Katherine are you okay?"

"I, I'm not Katherine. I'm her cousin Elena, from Georgia, I've been searching for her for weeks, hoping I can stay with her. Stefan found me on the road, and he confused me with her too. Luckily, he has kindly directed me here."

"Elena, my sincerest apologies for entreating upon your personal space. That is no way to approach a lady, however I did think you were Katherine and she… well.."

"I understand, and trust me, you're in no trouble with me."

My eyes catch something below his collar. Two red dots. Vampire bites. I sigh deeply. My hands can't help but push back his collar. He steps away abruptly before I realize that this Damon isn't my Damon.

"How did you get those?"

"An unfortunate accident. Pardon me, Elena." He says brushing past me.

I want to scream and cry and shout. I want to grab him and bury my face into his chest. Crush my lips to his while my fingers tug on his raven hair. But I can't. Because this Damon isn't in love with me, he's in love with Katherine. This Damon isn't my Damon, he's hers. I wish I could just will him into knowing me. Loving me as he did before I came here. Before he died. The pain of Damon being dead washes over me unpleasantly. I almost sink to the floor next to my heart. He made his way downstairs, and I just look at him, Stranger Damon is better than no Damon. Katherine crosses through the threshold of the home. While getting myself dressed into her clothes, I couldn't help but look for the moonstone. Before she died, I remember her telling me that was her means of escaping the Vampire crusade. Surprisingly, I found it. Which can only mean Katherine hasn't used it as leverage yet. My eyes continue to stare downstairs. Damon's looking at her, the way he used to look at me. Katherine was his first love and what if I can't compete with that?

Damon points in my direction and my eyes lock with Katherine's. She is in utter disbelief and shock. But she wastes no time barreling upstairs to me. When she stands in front of me, she gulps.

"Cousin we have so much to discuss!" I say to her leading her towards her room, "come."

Once we are alone, her sweet smile turns into her familiar snarl. "What are you? A witch? A traveller? Why are you here"

"Katerina Petrova.. Now is that any way to talk to your dear old cousin?"

She's taken aback, "No one has called me that since…"

"Since you fled from Klaus. I know. Here is how this is going to go. I am your cousin Elena. I escaped the fire from Georgia but you had no idea. I am here now, you will compel Guiseppe Salvatore to let me stay here as I am your orphan cousin. And you will stop feeding on Damon or I will have to make a trip to New Orleans and give you to Klaus myself."

She bares her teeth and flashes in front of me, and says, "Or, I can give you to Klaus and he can kill you instead. He won't know the difference."

"Ah, but if you do that, then how will you ever know where I have put the moonstone?"

"How do you.."

"Just assume I know everything about you Katherine."

"Okay, done. And Stefan?"

"Don't turn him unless you absolutely have to. Life and death only Katherine. Or you can be expecting Klaus. Other than that, I don't care what you do with him. Enjoy your fun while it lasts"

"Who are you Elena?"

"I already told you Katherine. I'm your cousin. Your very distant cousin and that is all."

Giuseppe welcomes me to live in his home warmly. I knew throwing Klaus in Katherine's face was the only way she would comply. Damon looks uneasy about me. I can tell he thinks I am a vampire or something. Stefan is ever the gentleman. He wastes no time making me feel comfortable in my new but not really new home. Dinner is exquisite surprisingly. Nothing was made from a box, everything was truly homemade and I devoured every bit of it while Katherine picked at her food. Katherine divided her wardrobe with me reluctantly. After seeing it, she owned way too much anyways. Probably collected it all from all those years on the run. At some point I finally settle myself into bed. Damon's room is across from mine. I would kill to be snuggled up with him right now, but I can't. So I don't. It takes me awhile but eventually my eyes flutter shut and I'm asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

"Bonnie!" I cry out, "Where is he? No! You guys have to do the spell again."

"Elena, it's too late. He's here, you can say goodbye now."

I have dropped to my knees wailing. Pleading for Damon to stay. I can feel him near me. My heart pounds like it always does when he's by me. But this time I can't see him, can't touch him, or hear him. Because he's not really here. My sobs are deafening now as tears stream down my cheeks. I'm begging Damon to not leave me, to come back to me. But nothing happens. I keep calling his name but he never comes. Because he is gone. Dead. My chest is tight and it hurts. I can hardly breathe in between sobs. My brain is pounding against my skull painfully and just when I think I've run out of tears to cry, I see his eyes flashing in my memory and it hits me anew. I'm crying until there are no tears and i'm just heaving on the ground. Rocking back and forth-

"Elena?" Damon asks sitting on the bed and rubbing his eyes.

"Damon?" I ask sitting up, my face is wet with tears. I was having another nightmare. Since he died, they've been happening non stop. Every night is a Damon dying torture session.

"I thought I heard you calling me?" he says.

He's probably right, though this is the first time he actually comes when I do.

"I- I was having a nightmare, and I must have called your name in my sleep."

"What were you having a nightmare that includes me about? Did I die or something?" he smirks his trademark smirk.

I look at him. Deadpan. My face is wet from tears. My heart in shreds from the last four months of my life. I can't even muster up a smile and joke. Because, yes I did dream about him dying. And no, it was positively not funny. Me not answering him is an answer in and of itself. He looks at me worriedly and asks," Elena, why are you here?"

"To find my cousin Kat-"

"No, the real reason."

I was never good at lying to Damon. Not since that one time. I devastated him that day and since then, I've always been a bad liar. Especially to Damon. Even when he doesn't know me, his heart still knows me. Maybe even his soul does too. Still, I can't risk telling him my true intentions because he might report back to Katherine and I don't trust that outcome in the slightest.

"Damon, I came here to find a love that consumes me, passion, adventure, and maybe even a little danger."

His icy angel eyes are looking into mine. He smiles at me. The smile I know, his seductive, mysterious, and yet strangely gentle smile. My heart throbs because I miss it so much.

"Well, Elena, I want you to get everything you're searching for. Maybe in the morning, you can tell me about that nightmare of yours."

"Maybe, Goodnight Damon."

He grasps my hand and pulls it to his lips, kissing it gently, "Goodnight Elena."

'I want you to get everything you're searching for.'

That's exactly what he said to me the first time. Maybe he is my Damon all along. Maybe he just doesn't know it yet.

For the first time in four months, I fall asleep hopeful, and for the first time in months, I wake up again not having just had to relive my boyfriend's death.


	5. Chapter 5

After I get dressed, I make my way out of my room, and I see him, staring out the window at Katherine and Stefan, giggling, holding hands and sharing secret kisses. He looks sad looking at them. He looks exactly how he looked when it was me and Stefan. I wish I could take his pain away from him. It hurts to see him hurt. I don't say a word as I fumble with the old timey coffee kettle and coffee grind.

"Good morning Elena, I hope you slept better since I last saw you," Damon says to me pushing his sleeves above his elbows.

"I did, thanks to you. And you? How did you sleep?"

"Well, Elena you aren't doing that right." He says, his eyebrows furrowing as I make a mess. "Here, let me. Have you never used a coffee grind before?"

"No, it's my first time. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, watch me" he says smiling and winking at me. It feels so good to be near him. Hear his voice again. I know this isn't exactly him but it is him. And it's better than nothing. He sneaks a furtive glance towards Stefan and Katherine canoodling. I can't help myself.

"So do you like Katherine and Stefan together?"

"Not particularly, I mean, Stefan is so him. And I'm so me. I wish that was good enough for her. I was good enough for her. It seems no matter what Stefan does, he can do no wrong. Sorry, it's inappropriate that I share that with you but somehow, I feel so comfortable around you."

I nod, "Let it happen."

"What? I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because, I lov-"

"You love Katherine?" I shake my head. "Well Damon Salvatore, I believe in the notion that everything happens for a reason. Don't you?"

"Well yes."

"So then you should let it happen. Damon, if Katherine can't see how good you are, appreciate all that you have given to her, then maybe she doesn't deserve you."

"Maybe you're right Elena."

Later Stefan takes me for a walk, he's so comforting. I'm almost relieved to know this Stefan. This Stefan that doesn't pine for me. This Stefan that doesn't make me feel guilty for loving his brother. This Stefan that's talking to a stranger, even though he is no stranger to me.

"You'd better be careful with Damon Elena." Stefan says looking down at the ground and grinning.

"And why is that?" My dress ruffling against the gravel. The green fabric gleaming against the limestone.

"Because he's-"

"Unorthodox? Flirtatious?" I can't help but to interject.

"Yes. And a hopeless romantic."

"Maybe I am too."

We finished our tour of the Salvatore grounds and head back inside. Stefan prepares the horses to take Katherine for a ride while I make my way upstairs.

"Katherine, run away with me."

I stop in my tracks and brush my hair behind my ear.

"Damon I-"

"Run away with me."

"I can't Damon."

"Can't or won't?"

"I won't."

"Because of Stefan?"

"Yes because of Stefan!"

"Katherine, I love you. Is my love not enough for you?" I can feel those blue eyes gazing into hers hopefully just like they looked into mine when he visited me in my room that day.

"I love Stefan. Damon, it's Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan."

She sounds just like me. I make my way up the stairs and into my room, Katherine passes by me and doesn't say anything. Before I can reach the first step, I hear a door slam. I don't know if it was Damon's door or the front door that Katherine just galloped out of to leap into Stefan's arms. I'm recapping my experiences so far in a journal Stefan gave to me earlier this morning when I notice Damon leaning against the threshold. His hair is messy, and the top three buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. I can smell the bourbon from four feet away.

"Hey Elena."

"Hello Damon," I angle my body to face his.

"May I offer you some company?"

"You may, and what will we be doing?"

"Anything you want," he begins to unbutton the rest of his buttons.

"Damon, no we can't-"

"Oh don't tell me you're in love with Stefan too," he slumps back against the threshold

with his chest bear and gleaming. I can see his abs are the same, the hairs creeping down his naval are the exact same. I pull my eyes away. Of course I want him, just not like this.

"No Damon. But you aren't going to use me to quell your unrequited love for Katherine. I don't deserve that and neither do you."

He begins to button his shirt, "you're right. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have come to you like this. Please forgive me," he says before inching closer to me.

"So Elena, will you tell me about the dream?"

"Mhm, why do you want to know?"

"I want to know because you were calling my name, and crying. I don't mean to be so forward Elena, but are you a medium? Have you foreseen my death and have come to warn me about your premonitions."

I bite back laughter. While that seems crazy, it's not as crazy as the truth. The truth is that I time travelled back to see my dead vampire boyfriend to save him and got stuck here. But I couldn't tell him that. Not now.

"Not exactly Damon, while I want to tell you, I can't. Maybe one day."

"Why then? Why can't you tell me."

"Because you wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand? Oh Elena, I understand more about this world than you ever will."

"Is that so? Like what? Tell me Damon."

"I can't you won't believe me, and I don't want to be hanged for heresy."

I can't help but chuckle, "I won't tell anyone Damon, you can trust me."

He looks around, and hesitantly comes close to me, whispering in my ear, "Elena there are-"

"Vampires? In Mystic Falls?"

"Are you?" his eyes widen as he takes a step back.

"No Damon, and I'm not a medium or witch either."

"Then what are you?"

"A human."

"Impossible."

I can't help myself. I cross over to him and grab his face gently in both of my hands. I can feel the slightest bit of stubble against my palm and his eyes are intensely looking into mine.

"Damon, I promise, I will tell you everything one day. Once I find what I'm searching for." He doesn't back away from me, he just says, " A love that consumes you? What if you've already found it?"

"I may have, but I'm waiting for it to find me too," my hands begin to drop from his face but he grasps my wrists so they don't.

"I think you're right."

"About?"

"Everything. How everything happens for a reason. How Katherine deserves Stefan if she can't appreciate my love for her. How you want what we all want. A love that consumes me. I thought I had that with Katherine, but for it to be true, it would need to go both ways and well.." his hands detach from my wrists and my hands break from his face. Our eyes never leave each other. His blue eyes gaze into my brown eyes.

"I'm sorry Damon."

"Don't be, it wasn't you who broke my heart." If only he knew. And yet, even when I did, it didn't stop him from loving and protecting me. Hopefully this time I'll get it right.

"Elena?"

"Yes Damon?"

"May I call on you tonight? To go for a stroll after supper?"

"I look forward to it," a smile creeps up at the corners of my mouth and his reflects that back to me.


	6. Chapter 6

After supper, he holds his arm out to me and I take it. He guides me down the gravel path and the stars and moon beam down on us. The world without street lights makes the stars more beautiful.

"Tell me about yourself."

"Ok Damon, what do you want to know?"

"I don't know. I just want to know everything about you."

"Everybody has this sort of, life changing moment. One second you're just a stranger walking down the street and you meet a stranger and the next minute you learn the true meaning of the word stranger and how you have just become one to yourself. It was that day that both my parents died in an accident. The Elena I know today is someone I never thought I would meet."

"Is that a good or bad thing?"

"I don't know. When my parents died, that was the first time Death had made himself my acquaintance." We continued to walk and the sound of crickets sang the blues to my sad tune.

"Then one by one, Death beckoned everyone I have ever cared about towards him with a crooked finger and everyone was dead. My whole family. All of my friends. But Death you see, Death is spiteful, and if you cheat, he punishes you. I cheated Death, so he took everyone away from me, saving my soul mate for last."

"Not everyone Elena, he didn't take Katherine."

"He will."

"Your soulmate, was he named Damon too? Was that why I thought you were calling me?"

"Yes, his name was Damon."

"What was he like?"

"Hmm, he was strong, protective, arrogant, seductive, dangerous, mysterious, beautiful, unorthodox, loyal, sweet, amazing and mine. He was all mine."

"I'm sorry Elena, look at us though. Bonding over our broken hearts. Maybe talking about him will help you mourn? How did you meet him?"

I stop walking and I take a good look at Damon. Sure he's the same. Same eyes. Same crooked smile. Same coal color hair. But what hurts the most is that I would die for the man looking at me confused. I know everything about the man in front of me and he doesn't know anything about me. I am in love with someone who considers me a stranger. As far as I'm concerned, the Damon I fell in love with is dead. Because I'm the only one who remembers it. Falling in love. He doesn't remember it with me because he hasn't experienced it. As soon as this realization hits, tears are flooding my face. They begin to puddle in my collar until its damp. I can't stop crying. Damon pulls me against him. Damon is comforting me. He is trying to make me feel better about him dying. This is some Twilight Zone gold right here. At that realization I begin to laugh. Hysterically. My boyfriend from the past is holding me while I cry over his future self dying. He pulls me over to a wooden bench and he sits down raking his fingers through his hair frustrated.

"Elena, I'm not sure what to do with you. One second you're fine reminiscing, the next you're crying and the next you've laughed yourself into oblivion. What is it you're not telling me? And if you don't tell me, I can get Katherine to compel you."

"Good luck with that Damon, I drink Vervain. It won't work."

"How long has it been since he…"

"Four months. I had this witch friend who would mix herbs so that I would see him. So I wouldn't have to confront his death, because everytime I did, it was bad. But eventually, the herbs would make me thirsty. Really thirsty. And thirsty for a vampire is not good. I came to the unadulterated consensus that, that wasn't a permanent solution."

"I thought you said you were human? What is your permanent solution then?"

"I am. Now. I turned back. Ah, the permanent solution is something rich," my tired tone is ever so blunt but my heart hurts and I know Damon will stop at nothing to find out, "my plan was to get my witch friends to send me back in time the day he died, I would incapacitate him, and take his place. See Damon, for once, decided to be a martyr, and as a result, he died. My grand plan was to replace him. Because the first time he died, I went with him and managed to come back. The plan was to do the same exact thing, minus Damon. That way, the future would be altered but the only difference would be Damon would still be alive."

"Ok, I know a witch and Katherine knows people. Is that what you're here for? To start the big plan?"

"Yes and no. I've already done the big plan. It went up in flames. So now I'm just improvising and hoping for the best."

Damon pushes his sleeves up to his elbows and he sits back. His lips are pursed and he is thinking. He doesn't say anything for a long time. A very long time. There were a few instances where I almost said something but then decided against it when he gave me a warning look. So we are sitting here. In silence. Waiting for Damon to speak.

"Elena. It's me. I know it's me." he says after a long time.

"That night, you called for me. I asked you why you were here. And then when I went back to sleep, I had a dream. It was the future, you were walking down the street and I was a vampire. You told me your boyfriend wanted different things in life than you. I told you that you wanted a love that consumes you. After it all, I compelled you to forget the conversation. It seemed so real and vivid and now I know why. Because it was real. It just didn't happen in this part of my life."

I can't speak. Damon has a memory of us? I conjured up a futuristic memory of us? I'm happy but also confused. He grabs my arm and we begin to head back to the house. He doesn't speak as we make our way up the stairs and into his bedroom. He doesn't speak and he keeps his pensive stare. Human Damon has no patience either. After a while of being stared down by the bluest eyes I've ever seen, he speaks.

"Elena, tell me everything. I feel like I know you but don't know you. My heart palpitates when I'm around you and that has never happened around Katherine. So I know it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. I need you to come clean, I can't help you unless you tell me what is going on and why you're really here."

"I'm here for you. There I said it. I time travelled, but I accidentally went too far and made it back to 1864. I don't know what else you want me to say Damon," I'm exasperated and heartbroken.

"I want to know everything. I want you to start from the beginning and tell me everything."

"The beginning. Right. Katherine turned both you and Stefan before she fled. I met you when I was a human and you were a vampire. You were about 170 years old. You and I were strangers who met on the street. We had a moment and you compelled me to forget about it. Then Stefan went to my school. We fell in love with each other. Then I met you again. You were a mean vampire. I didn't like you. You fell in love with me while I was with Stefan. Stefan went away for a while and we got closer. Before I knew it, I was in love with you. I was injured, and your vampire blood healed me, before it was out of my system I died. I came back to life as a vampire. You were the only one who helped me through it. My brother died and I let go of my humanity. I became bad. You helped me become good again. My brother came back to life. Then four months ago, we were on a mission to save the world, or at the very least our town. In order to do that, we had to blow up a large estate. We died in the explosion. I came back to life but you didn't. I did things I'm not proud of to cope with your death. My witch friends came up with a plan. I was going to go back in time and keep you far away from the explosion. That way you would be saved. But I went back too far in time. I turned back into a human, and I'm assuming that is because I went back in time to a point where I wasn't a vampire. Now here I am, looking at you, and you look like the man who stole my heart, you sound like him, but you aren't him because I am a complete stranger to you," I can't help but break my gaze away from his icy blue stare.

"You sent yourself back in time to save me? Maybe you weren't meant to save me from the explosion, maybe you are meant to save me from Katherine."

Now that is something I hadn't considered.

"I mean, think about it Elena, you're the only one who knows exactly what is going to happen before it happens, you have the ability to save everyone before anything happens. You have the upper hand here."

"You're right. I just need more time to get acclimated, I know what is going to happen I just don't know when it will happen. You gave me a year, you never told me what time in the year. How long has Katherine been here? That can give me a rough estimate."

"Two weeks. So it is not very long in hindsight."

"Has the Founders Ball happened yet?"

"No, it happens in a week."

"Good, that is very good, that means I have time."

"Go with me to the ball, that is if you want to," he asks nervously glancing to the side.

"Of course," I can't help but smile at another happy memory. Stefan running off and Damon dancing with me instead. He looked so handsome that day.

"Argh," Damon screeches before grabbing his head and crouching to the ground in pain.

"Damon!" I fall to the ground beside him, "What's happening? Are you okay?"

"The ball. We went already. Blue dress. We danced, Stefan ran off," he is gritting his teeth and rocking back in pain.

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know. It's a vision."

"How is this happening? How are you getting memories from experiences that you've never had yet?"

"I don't know. But, I've had enough tonight Elena. I think it is time to rest and figure all this out in the morning."

"Okay, as you wish," I can't help but want to press my lips to his. But I don't do it. I don't want to push him. And he only just let go of Katherine this morning. Every nerve tells me to kiss him and stay with him tonight, but deep down I know he's not ready for me yet.


	7. Chapter 7

As I make my way to my own respective bedroom, I overhear Katherine and Stefan speaking in his room.

"Katherine, we can't just run away, what will my father and brother think?"

"We will leave them alone. Stefan it's not safe here, trust me."

"Where will we go?" Stefan asks her.

"I have a place where we can stay. Stefan please," she pleads.

"Okay, we will leave before everyone wakes up in the morning. Pack lightly. I will meet you at the carriage in ten minutes."

They share a brief kiss and she enters her room. I make a point to barge back into Damon's room. He's only wearing plain white boxers that end at his knee.

"Elena!" He shrieks.

"Damon, it's nothing I haven't already seen before. Besides, my time is less modest considerably. Anyways, Katherine and Stefan are running away. Tonight, in ten minutes."

"Okay?"

"You don't want to stop them?"

"Why do I care? They deserve each other."

"She could turn him!"

"And?"

"And he will kill hundreds of people."

"That sounds like a Stefan problem. How did she turn him the first time?"

"Well, she didn't. She'd given him blood to heal the bite marks that she gave him once she fed, and then he died with it in his system."

"See? She won't turn him. Stefan will be fine. I think he is safer with her than he is here, with the storm that is sure to come to Mystic Falls as you so delicately put it earlier."

"So, just let him go?"

"Yes Elena, Stefan will find his way back. He always does doesn't he?"

"Yes. He does."

"Is that all?" He asks, leaning against his wardrobe, muscles gleaming, hair messy, and jaw clenched. I have never wanted to jump someone's bones as much as I do right now.

"Elena," he says snapping me out of my trance.

"Yes, that is all. Goodnight. Again, I'm sorry to burden you," I love you is at the tip of my tongue but I bite it back. I leave Damon's room for the second time tonight. Feeling euphoric before my head collapses against my pillow.


	8. Chapter 8

"Damon, I I-"

"I know," He looks at me sympathetically with one hand on the wheel, "I know."

He revs the engine and we are off, past the Mystic Falls welcome sign. Water begins to choke me almost instantly. I can hear Damon curse and then he's grabbing my hand, bracing himself for what is about to come next. Everything turns black and I'm back in his family crypt.

"Elena, he's here, you can say goodbye now," Bonnie's eyes are glassy as she walks away. It hits me that Damon is dead, and he's not coming back. No, no this can't be real. This can't be happening. But it is. My sobs are deafening and never ending. He's gone. He's really gone and he's not coming back. The only man who can help me isn't here and he never will be, how am I supposed to survive this?

"Damon! Please, please don't leave me. Please come back to me!" I choke out over and over again. The pain has no intention of letting go of it's tight grip on me.

"Elena!" Damon is shaking me. His eyes are panicked, and he's still in his underthings.

"Elena, I'm right here, everything is okay I'm right here," he says softly while grabbing my face. He brushes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm here," he murmurs softly while sliding next to me in bed. He pulls me against him firmly. My face is buried in his chest and I'm still shedding tears. He kisses my forehead and rubs my back gently while I cry against him. Eventually his familiar scent and soothing words calm me down.

"Are you okay?" he asks me eventually.

"I am now. Thank you," I whisper, my nose clogged with snot and my voice slightly hoarse.

He shifts the slightest bit beneath me.

"Please don't leave me," I whisper.

"Shh, I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here tonight," he gets comfortable and then he pulls me against him. He kisses my forehead sweetly and we fall asleep in each other's arms.

Just before sleep pulls me in, and I hear him mumble, "I can see why I fell for you Elena."

I wake up and light is streaming through the windows. Damon is still wrapped around me peacefully. I flutter my eyes open and he's staring at me.

"Good morning," I smile stretching.

"You sleep okay?" He asks concerned.

"Yes, thanks to you. I'm sorry if you felt like you were obliged to stay. I won't ask you again."

"Elena, you're no bother. It's been a long time since I've slept in a woman's bed and that was all. It was nice. Refreshing even," his icy blue orbs drink me in. His hair is messy and he's propped his head up on his arm and he's looking at me while twirling my hair with his fingers.

"Damon?" I speak his name as a question.

"Yes Elena?"

"Does it bother you, to comfort me crying about your own death? Is that strange for you? Because if it is I'm truly sorry."

"Is it strange? Absolutely. Do I mind? Not at all Elena. Grieving is the price of loving. And it is extraordinary to know that I was loved this much. All the while, I never deserved it. So no, it doesn't bother me that you grieve our lost love while I hold you. It bothers me that I don't share it with you. That I don't know what it's like to fall in love with you, kiss you, be with you and the Damon that you know does. Elena, I am so sorry you are going through this. As honorable it is to be a martyr, just know that if I had known that we wouldn't be together after, I wouldn't have done it. I know you know everything about me, and I don't know the first thing about you. But, I do know that I must have loved you so deeply. So fiercely, and I owe it to that love and to you to be here for you, every single night if that is what it takes. Partly because you are different. Pure in heart and partly because I know if we are truly soulmates, then I am right where I am meant to be. With you."

My heart is throbbing, my Damon is right under the surface. My lips burn to be crushed to his. I waited and waited for him and now that he is in front of me, I can't bring myself to do it. I want him to make his own choices. I want him to have a say in the choice of whether he loves me or not and right now, he needs time. I'm willing to give him that, after all, he gave me my time.


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you usually do during the day?"

"My family owns a logging business, my father usually keeps the books, Stefan entertains Katherine. I, surrounded myself in the company of other women and sometimes entertained Katherine too. But before I was discharged from the army, I helped my father, but since I have returned, he has been disillusioned. He raves that the town is full of vampires, though I only know of Katherine so that cannot be true."

"Damon, there are some things you should know," I sit up, he slides his fingers into mine and his thumb traces small circles against my hand while his blue eyes gaze up at me curiously.

"My coming here has obviously altered things. However, you fell in love with Katherine. She used you and Stefan to have somewhere to live. She would feed on you. Once you found out that she was a vampire it freaked you out, so she compelled you. And she kept compelling Stefan and you. One day your father laced your drinks with Vervain and she tried drinking from Stefan. She outed herself. So Johnathan Gilbert invented a compass that led him to all the vampires in town. They were all captured. Put into a tomb to desicate. Then your father shot and killed you and Stefan. But because of Katherine's blood, you two came back as vampires. Stefan killed your father and drank his blood, completing his transition. You however, didn't want to be turned, but Stefan forced blood into your mouth so he wouldn't be alone for an entire eternity. Witches used special magic to keep the vampires in the tomb. 145 years later, and with the help of my friends, you got back in the tomb to find Katherine was never there. For 145 years you waited for her and the whole time she didn't care. She ran off. You and Stefan died trying to free Katherine from her captors, when the whole time, she didn't want to be saved because she had a plan to get away. She gave the Lockwoods the moonstone. And in return they promised to help her. When Katherine did eventually return, she came back for Stefan, and rubbed it in your face. That night you appeared in my room, you tried to kiss me but I shoved you off of me. I told you-"

Damon's eyes began to roll back and he was grabbing his head again. He grimaced in pain.

"You told me, it was Stefan, it was always going to be Stefan. And then I, I, I killed Jeremy."

His eyes blink and he's back to me.

"Elena, I'm remembering my life with you, but, how could you love me after that? After I killed your own brother?"

"You saved me. Again. And again. And again. No matter how many times I hurt you, you were always there. It took me time to get over it, but I saw you sincerely try to be more in touch with your humanity and eventually, you didn't need to try anymore. Sometimes you were more human than the rest of us."

He doesn't say anything. He just nods his head. This is the first time he remembers anything he's ever done that caused harm to another person. I know he hates himself now. Maybe being a vampire wasn't what made him the way he was, maybe it was the constant guilt of the things he did.

"Come on Elena, it is time we get ready for the day."

After getting dressed and ready for the day, Damon hands me some money and instructs me to go into town and get a dress for the ball. I do a bit of window shopping and I decide that royal blue is definitely the only color that really suits me and 1864 has a shortage of other colors. I find a blue dress that is stunning.

"You should get the dress," a blonde stranger says to me.

When I get a closer look at her, she looks and sounds just like Caroline. Hearing her voice almost makes me homesick.

"I think I will, thank you. I'm Elena. Elena Pierce."

"Margaret Forbes, will you be wearing it to the Founder's Ball?"

"I will actually, will I see you there?" I can't help but stare at her. The resemblance is uncanny.

"You will. What do you think of that red dress Elena? Do you think it suits me?"

"I think so, I think you should get it. Sorry, Margaret, you really remind me of an old friend."

"Well in that case, call me Meg, all my close friends do. I look forward to seeing you at the ball Elena."

I get the dress and shop around a bit. I decide to buy Damon a bottle of bourbon. I have no idea what Damon likes in the way of food, much less food in 1864. It's the best I can do.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Diary,

It has been a week. No new memories have resurfaced and Damon seems distant. Probably because he doesn't know what to think of everything. I keep dropping bombshell after bombshell so I guess I can't be too surprised. Katherine and Stefan left. They didn't disclose their whereabouts and Guiseppe is mad. I thought Damon would be closer to his father. But supposedly since Damon left the war, he dislikes him. Damon sleeps in bed with me every night. The nightmares are fewer and in between as a result. What will happen when they are fully gone? Will he start sleeping in his own room? Emily reminds me of Bonnie. I didn't realize all I would lose by coming back in time. I don't know if I should be thankful for the chance to start fresh or if I should wallow in the life that could have been. Damon tells me that nurses are in high demand. I know it's not running a clinic and being a resident surgeon, but I still have the opportunity to help people. Soldiers. The ball is tonight. Damon hasn't seen my dress. Truthfully, I went for the blue one because I can't help but hope to stir up something in him. My Damon was right. I do like this version of him. He's the same but also different. He's kind and gentle but not just towards me, but the world. The thought of killing makes him nauseous. That's why he left the war. My Damon was also wrong though, because I like every version of him. I like that he's vulnerable while he's also guarded. I like that he's very aware of his sexuality while also not taking advantage of every poor girl that gives him eyes. I don't know, I'm starting to think that he is right. That I am meant to be here.

Elena


	11. Chapter 11

Emily does her best to help wrestle me into the dress and after a long time of sucking it in and not breathing, I am crammed in.

"You know you're stuck here Miss Elena," she says to me.

"That's the plan Emily. We didn't do all that hard work so I can bust out of it. I also told you already, you can call me Elena. You aren't my handmaiden, you are your own person. I just needed help in the dress-"

"No Elena. I know you aren't from this time. I am telling you, you can't go back. There won't be another comet until-"

"Until the one I used to jump back here. I know. Why are his memories of us from before now coming back. Do you know?"

"Yes. You and Damon are soulmates. While he may not know you, his soul does. His soul remembers you. Because of that, things that remind his soul, they are remembered up here," she points to her forehead, "the memory to bring back them all, will be the one where he falls for you Elena."

"You're saying, if I can trigger a memory that is the specific moment where he fell for me, that will be the one to bring them all back and I will have my Damon back?"

"Yes. But even still, you both are stuck here. And everything you do now, will change everything in the future. If Damon and Stefan don't become vampires, all the lives they saved will be lost."

"But all the ones they took will be saved."

"That is also correct. It's all about choices Elena. Your brother will be a single child. Your friends will grow up not knowing you. There won't be any vampires in Mystic Falls."

"Maybe it's better that all of my family lives without me. If it weren't for me, my parents wouldn't have died. Jer wouldn't be an orphan. Bonnie wouldn't have died. Caroline would never have become a vampire. Tyler wouldn't have triggered his curse. Maybe it is better this way."

"Maybe, but there's no going back now," she says pushing a curl to frame my face. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I look like a princess. I feel like a princess.

"What if Damon remembers everything and he wants to turn?" I ask her.

"What if because he remembers, and he chooses not to?"

I pick up my dress as I walk down the stairs. Damon got caught up in helping his father with some things so I told him I would just meet him there. I get there and Meg is wearing the red dress we picked out for her and she looks absolutely stunning.

"Elena! You're here! Wow you look beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you Meg."

"I was thinking, we should go in to town sometime next week. See if we can find anything new."

"It is a date," I'm smiling.

"So Elena, who is your escort tonight," she asks me wiggling her eyebrows.

"Damon Salvatore," I blushed faintly.

"Ooh, is he courting you?"

"I am not sure, he hasn't asked me. Though, I wouldn't be opposed. He took me and my cousin Katherine in because our family burned in the Georgia fires."

"I'm sorry Elena, I didn't mean to pry. It must be so hard. Soon enough the war will be over and it will be nothing but a distant memory."

Damon enters and he looks so handsome. He's smiling and laughing while chatting with the Lockwoods. His eyes meet mine and he gives me the slightest smirk before Meg pulls me up the stairs to get ready for the founder's dance. My name is called and Damon is waiting for me at the end of the stairs, looking at me as he holds his breath just as he did the first time. He purses his lips as his hand touches the small of my back. His icy blue eyes lock with mine as we dance in circles. My heart is pounding. I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again. All these little things we do remind me and it almost is cathartic. He closes his eyes and his grip on me is tighter.

"Damon," I whisper urgently, "you're hurting me."

He doesn't hear me. Instead he grits his teeth and keeps his eyes closed shut. Something is wrong.

"Damon?"

"We need to get out of here," he said in a low voice. He grimaces while he leads us away from the rest of the party. Once we are outside, he collapses on the nearest bench and he's clutching his hair and pulling.

"Damon? What's the matter? What is going on?"

"They're coming back Elena, they are all coming back," he groans.

"Eggplant dinner, kisses in the rain, breaking up, Jeremy's school, getting back together. All of it. I died Elena. I remember driving into the grill. How is this happening?"

"Emily said we are soulmates. She says your soul remembers me. She told me the memory that would bring them all back, would be the one that you fell for me in. You fell for me at the ball, Damon?"

"Yes, apparently. Elena I am so confused. Where are we?"

"1864 Damon."

"Elena!" Meg hollers hiking up her dress and skipping to us, "are you leaving so soon?"

"Yes, Damon isn't feeling well. I think he must have eaten some spoiled food. I'm taking him home to care for him."

"I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better Mr. Salvatore. Did you want me to send you a telegram Tuesday for our date?"

"Yes, that sounds great. I will keep in touch, Bye Meg."

"Goodbye Elena. Mr. Salvatore," she nods.

We get in the carriage and Damon doesn't say anything to me. He holds my hand but he keeps his eyes trained on the window. We make our way into his room where he loosens his tie and begins to unbutton his shirt. He rolls his sleeves up to his elbows and sits down silently.

"Okay, so how are you feeling?" I asked him eventually breaking the silence.

"What are you Elena? My therapist?" He smirks. It's him. It's really him.

"I feel like I have come back to life, but during an acid trip. What is going on?"

"You don't remember the past two weeks?"

"I do, but I don't know if it's a dream, if I am dreaming or?"

"Well you're not. You didn't make it back from the other side in time. So I got Luke to do some magic to send me back in time. I was trying to go back to that night. Knock you out. Go into the explosion by myself. That way you never died. But, I came back here. Now I am stuck. Emily said I triggered your memories just by being here. She said your soul remembers me so you would eventually too. It's all real Damon."

He sighs and he looks at me. Then before I know it he's grasped my face and is crushing his lips to mine.

"Elena," he whispers.

I can't take it anymore. I unbutton the rest of the buttons and push his shirt off. He wrestles my dress and corset off of me. Before we know it, he's picked me up and we are naked falling on the bed. He's kissing down my stomach, and he trails it back up towards my face. His lips graze my neck and then he's nipping my ear. I can't help but sigh as he enters me. My legs wrapped around him and we drown in each other. I don't think, I just relish every touch of his that sends tingles all over my body.

"I love you Elena," he mumbled against my lips.

"I love you Damon," I muttered against his.

I have no perception of the time that was spent rolling around in the sheets with Damon, but by the end of it, we are laying in each other's arms gleefully.

"I'm hungry," he says after a while, "wait, I'm hungry. I'm not a vampire? I'm not a vampire."

I can't tell if he's upset or happy about this revelation but I offer to make him a sandwich. When I get up, he pulls me back down and gets on top of me laying kisses all over me.

"Don't leave yet Elena," he's smiling at me. A genuine smile. God I missed him. That hole in my chest doesn't even feel there anymore. For once, I feel okay. Happy. Like that first summer we had together.

"So Damon, the question of the hour, do you want to turn into a vampire again?"

"No, I have had my time as a vampire."

"I mean, if you did, we could always turn back. We could go to Nova Scotia, get the cure after we've lived a long life."

"No Elena, let's just finish it here. Grow old with me."

"And what about Stefan? What if Katherine turns him?"

"He made his choices, and as you said, the cure will still be there."

"So it's settled then, we will stay humans."

"And we will live a long, and simple human life."


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Diary,

The past few weeks with Damon have been a dream. Every now and then, we find the courage to leave the bed and scrounge up some food. Stefan has sent letters to Damon, but so far, he hasn't read them. He's upset that Stefan would just leave him, no questions asked. It seems that Stefan is still human, I say this because there is no news about any rippers and well, I never trusted Stefan to grab, feed, and release. Meg and I have been hanging out and strangely, she's been really helping me adjust. She's just like Caroline and honestly, it's what I need. Speaking of unlikely friends that remind me of home, Emily. Emily is probably my best friend. I know that everyone is still holding onto slavery but I just can't do it. I don't let her do anything for me. Except every now and then when I need help in a corset, I'll enlist her. I can be myself around her because she knows. She knows the truth and I don't have to pretend around her. Just like I never had to pretend around Bonnie. Giuseppe and the rest of the town have been eerily quiet. Thanks to Meg, I've started nursing. Everybody is really impressed with me. Then again, I did learn in a time much more advanced than 1864. Damon has invested in a bar, and business is booming. I also have the slightest sinking suspicion that Damon might pop the question? Maybe I'm just being wishful. I don't know, only time will tell.

Elena


	13. Chapter 13

Damon and I finish our pancakes silently before getting up from the table. He has important business at the logging location and I have patients to tend to. We share a sweet goodbye kiss as Giuseppe enters the room.

"Step away from the vampire son," he says cautiously with something behind his back.

"Father, she isn't," Damon begins trying to diffuse the situation.

"Listen to me boy! I've seen her feed on your brother. Lie and write letters of his absence to hide the fact she murdered him."

"No father, this is Elena, not Katherine she's not a- NO! What have you done?"

Giuseppe plunged a stake through my stomach. I fell to the ground, my vision becoming hazy and dark. Damon is holding me against him crying.

"No baby, not like this. Please don't go. I'm going to help you just stay with me," he begins to tug the stake but I grasp his hand firmly.

"Don't, I'll bleed out," I mumble.

Damon is crying, really crying. His hands are covered in my blood and he is gripping my face screaming for me to stay awake. That I need to stay awake.

Giuseppe falls to the ground and crawls backwards from the scene, not believing he just staked a human.

Damon scoops me up and he's hustling towards the carriage urging me to stay with him. I'm trying my best but every second I'm slipping further and further away. I rest my eyes and my breathing becomes more and more shallow. Before I know it, he has picked me up and carried me to someone's door.

Rapping on the door loudly he urgently screams,"Miss Pearl! Miss Pearl please help us!" He's getting frustrated as he bangs on the door but eventually she comes. She's confused at first when she sees me bloody.

"Katherine?" she breathes in the scent of fresh human blood and the veins in her eyes darken.

"No. Her cousin, Elena. She's human. You have to save her."

"Boy, you must be confused, I don't have to do anything, take her away, let her die in peace."

"If you help me, I can help you when Johnathan comes for you."

"How do you know about-"

"Please Pearl, she doesn't have much time. Just trust me. I will keep my word."

She nods at him as Annabelle peers through the cracked door. Pearl gestures for him to come inside and he lays me on a wooden table. She yanked the stake out of me and I groan in pain. Then she's pressing her slit wrist to my mouth and I am guzzling hot salty copper. I can feel the torn skin knit itself back together and soon there is nothing there but a dark red splotch on my dress.

"Come. You will need to be redressed, before the town's people think I've fed on you," Pearl says to me. Anna leads me to a different room where she helps me get into one of her nurse's dresses. Damon is thanking Pearl in the next room when she cuts him off.

"How do you know about Johnathan's knowledge of vampires?"

"Long story short, I just do. Johnathan and my father are planning to raid the town of vampire's tonight. Katherine skipped town with Stefan but not before leaving a very valuable bargaining chip. Gilbert designed a device that allows him to find vampires. He will use that and capture all the vampires and lock them in a tomb to dessicate for eternity. What you will do is promise a Lockwood a moonstone and he will guarantee your freedom from the tomb."

"How do you know that? And what is the significance of the moonstone?"

"I just know and the moonstone is insignificant. But the Lockwoods don't know that. So it's valuable because they think it is. Do we have an accord?"

"We do, I will stop by later to retrieve it."

Once we are back at Damon's estate, he continues to carry me to his room to lay me on the bed. Giuseppe is nowhere to be found.

"I'll tell them you are sick today. I don't want to be anywhere near what is going to happen tonight."

"So we won't. Let's stay in tonight. You know what I miss doing with you most from the future?"

"What?"

"Watching movies. It is kinda lame that movies aren't invented yet."

"Thomas Edison is working on it. He's only seventeen right now though so it's going to be a while," he smirks.

"Though, I guess it doesn't suck that bad, we could never get through a full movie now could we?" I say seductively biting my lip.

Damon smirks and begins to unbutton his shirt. He pulls my dress over my head before tossing it on the ground. His soft lips come down unyielding on mine and I can't help but wrap my legs around him as he begins to move against me. My fingers run through his soft raven hair and I am tugging it gently at the nape of his neck. He moans into my neck before pressing more kisses along the length of my body.

"Marry me Elena," he whispers against my collarbone.

"What?"

He sits up and now he is just straddling me, "Marry me, I want to be your husband. Your life partner. The father of your kids. Marry me," his blue eyes gaze down at me earnestly and before I have registered what my lips mouth, I hear my voice say, "Yes. I'll marry you Damon." He falls back against me and we are kissing each other's smiles.


End file.
